Teenagers are Self Interested

Most Teenagers are a product of their culture and our culture is all about the consumer. Marketers have been targeting our kids for years and playing to their emotional needs. Ten’s of thousands of hours of screen time and all the related ads can’t be undone in a 30 minute pep talk. Because of this when it comes to Teenagers; they will understand most biblical truths through the lens of how it affects their lives. Cognitively they should be able to think outside of themselves, however in our society it’s not an issue of ability, it’s an issue of conditioning. To reach teenagers you have to make a personal appeal or they will tune you out.

Even kids who have grown up in Christian families and have a strong background in church will have a hard time paying attention if you don’t address how the scripture relates to them personally. Quite frankly teenagers have been programed to be self-interested thinkers. You need to get to know them well enough to relate biblical truth to their personal needs. However, don’t make the mistake here of falling into moralism (good apart from the gospel). Teenagers need the gospel. Help them to see their need for the Savior.

Having a self-interested teen can be a mixed blessing. On one level you can’t compete with millions of dollars of marketing, well written scripts, and super model actors… on the other hand… those people don’t know “your” teen. While you may be less entertaining than the latest super bowl commercial, a little time well spent learning about the teens in your life can give you more credibility than axe body spray ever had.

Teenagers are Emotional

Teenagers make decisions based on feelings more than rational thought. Physiologically they are still developing the rational part of their brain while the emotional impulse part of the brain is already developed. They default to what they know. Something which seems cut and dry to you, is a major issue to them because they simply lack the development in their brains to process the situation the way you can as an adult.

They can still get there, it’s just not the preferred method and it requires you to connect a lot of the dots for them. Think of this as exorcising a weak muscle. The tendency to default to emotion is why students can sometimes be prone to “drama.” Teens often use the filter of feeling (“how does this make me feel”) to evaluate their circumstances and to make decisions. We need to guard our kids in this area because it leaves them open to manipulation.

The positive side of this is that teenagers are able to be empathetic. However, rarely do they ever get there without some help or guidance along the way. It is generally good when ask “How do you think it made them feel?” When talking about how our actions effect others.

Grumpy Teen: If you are a parent dealing with a grumpy teen take in to account how many hours of sleep your child is getting each night. Most studies indicate that middle school age kids need around 9 hours of sleep or more per night and only about 15% of teens are getting enough sleep (There is a reason they would sleep till noon on Saturday if you’d let them). If 13 year-old Tommy is acting like the 3 year-old Tommy when he didn’t get his nap, it’s probably because 13-year-old Tommy is tired.

Challenge: How well do you know the teens in your life? If you don’t already, schedule regular personal time with your teen doing something you both value. What emotions tend to rise to the top when you are carrying on a conversation? Pray for the teenagers in your life. Ask God to give you wisdom in applying the scripture to their needs. How is their sleep schedule? Sometimes a late weekend wake up is due to not enough sleep during the week.

Jonathan Hill

https://followjonathan.wordpress.com/about/

Welcome to this series on teenagers. The goal of this blog series is to help parents and youth workers to understand the general changes and issues that teenagers are facing. Sometimes a little knowledge can go a long way in helping to develop a proactive game plan for parenting, teaching, and shepherding students.

These are general observations gleaned from over fifteen years experience in youth ministry. Nothing in this series is ground breaking, earth shattering, or even new. Hopefully these basic observations will give you the insight, perspective, and perhaps empathy for the teens in your life. Of course the ultimate goal is to learn how to best take the gospel and apply it to the teenagers in our lives. This series is mostly to help you understand the world of being a teenager. To this end I hope the entire series proves helpful

We’ll be taking everything in bite size chunks. So buckle up and hold on to something, we are about to reenter the teenage world armed with the gospel.

Teenagers are Changing (Literally!)

Teenagers are emerging adults. This isn’t an overnight process. They are in a constant state of transition from childish dependence on others to adult like independence. One moment they may surprise you with their ability to give selflessly to others, the next moment they can throw an emotional tantrum and break down because mom asked them to take out the trash. They really do have a foot in both worlds. It is fair to expect your teen to be more responsible, but don’t assume it will happen without a few setbacks along the way.

When a set back occurs, take it in stride, gently help refocus your child’s attention on becoming responsible. Be sure to take time to praise the positive strides you see your child making. Genuine praise and encouragement for being responsible will motivate your child to become even more responsible. If we’re not careful we can fall into a pattern of discouragement by only noticing the set backs and it’s easy to deflate your child’s motivation toward responsibility.

Teenage bodies are also growing and developing into adult bodies. Your teenager will most likely hit growth spurts. Not only will they get taller, but thanks to puberty their bodies will take on a more manly or womanly shape. It is important to keep in mind that mature physical appearance doesn’t mean that your teenager is grown up mentally as well. Many teenagers are children in grown up bodies. Just because they look grown up, doesn’t mean that they are.

Your child may be taller than you, but they still take their cues from you on how to handle the various situations life throws their way. They may not be asking for advice because they feel a pressure to figure things out on their own. A wise parent will make the extra effort to be available for their child to talk. Sometimes talking works best in a shoulder-to-shoulder situation or in the midst of an activity rather than an intense face to face sit down. As a parent it might be wise to schedule a regular time with your child each week to participate in an activity you both enjoy. My dad was always great about taking my brother and I to play tennis, fishing, look for fossils or arrowheads, and a host of other activities we enjoyed. Later in life these times fueled great shoulder to shoulder conversations on the ride home that helped both my brother and I process life.

Each of these posts will end with a Challenge. This is a way to take the post beyond just information and allow the information to impact the way you interact with the teenagers in your life. Obviously the applications will be different according to your relationship with teenagers. Much of this is geared towards parents but will have some application with youth workers as well.

Challenge: Write down the name of the teens you have in your life (if you have a bunch then you might want to spread this over a few days). Take time to pray for them. Thank God that he has placed them in your life and ask Him to help you be sensitive to their needs as they mature. Ask God to give you wisdom in your relationship with them.

*Write down all the ways that you see your teen becoming more responsible. Think of appropriate ways to encourage your teen when you see them following through on this type of behavior
*Now write down areas of responsibility that you they still need to work through. Current frustrations, etc. Pray over these issues and have a game plan in place to encourage the snot out of your kid when they step up to the task.
*Think of ways to challenge your child to be more responsible.
*Pray that God would protect your child from people who would want to take advantage of them.
If you don’t already have a regularly scheduled time to hang out with your child start working on a plan to get some shoulder to shoulder time in on an activity. Think of something that will be fun for the both of you and work at it until you find something that sticks. You’ll be surprised at how much this regular interaction will open the doors for authentic communication down the road.

In the coming days and weeks we’ll be looking at teenage grumpiness, technology, identity, forgetfulness, and more!

Jonathan Hill

https://followjonathan.wordpress.com

“The cross is why Jesus came to the earth.” While that sounded right when I got up to preach after spending hours in scripture, the deeper thought is that Jesus came to redeem His people. He came to tell them that “The kingdom of God is near. Repent and be baptized.” (Matthew 6.) He came for the life change that will happen in our lives. The cross is the what. Peace in this life and into eternity is the why. John 10:10 says that Christ came so that we can have life to it’s fullest. That fullest is defined in Galatians 5 as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control.

When a person gets up everyday, studies Christ and His life, and works to develop a plan to influence those around me with his life, it happens that you forget the big picture of why you got into ministry. Especially amidst the focus of daily ministry tasks. I have held various full time ministry positions since September of 1998. I felt the call into full time ministry already in 1994. It has been a great journey. During that journey, I have had ebs and flows to what I have been doing to call myself a student minister.

The cross is the what. It is what Jesus did in order for us to have the peace through life with Christ (why). I think we often get these confused. We need to remember our why so that the what has more influence. Michael Jr. does a tremendous job of helping explain this better than I can. Check out this video:

In the banking industry, one of the fundamental requirements of a teller on the front lines is to not accept phony money as the real thing. Accepting phony money is not only shameful for someone who handles bills on a daily basis, it loses money for the bank. So the question becomes, ‘How do the banks train tellers to recognize a real U.S. government issued bill?’ The answer is more simple than most people initially think. They simply help them learn everything they need to know about the real thing. There are so many frauds out there, that to train every teller to recognize the frauds would take forever. Then the next fraud would come up with something new and the teller might let it go through after not recognizing it. So, by training the teller to know what a real bill looks like, they know that if something is different, to flag it and take it to a manager.

I believe the best way to help students share the gospel is to help them recognize the truth of the gospel in their life. In leadership circles it is said that you cannot lead people to where you have not gone yourself. We need to help students in understanding what the gospel is. Many Christian students who have gone to church their whole life cannot articulate their faith in Christ in 30 seconds or less. Then we can help them to see how God has worked in their life, write that story down, and provide a place to share it with their peers. By having a clear understanding of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus and how that has changed their life, they will have everything they need to be light in a spiritually dark life they encounter daily in the halls of school.

Peace,

Brad Schelling

This is an epic generation of students. Students not only love the word epic, but they live the word out. Tim Elmore’s book ‘The iY Generation” talks about how, as adults, we can learn to engage the current rising generation. His epic analogy is simple, but plays into the ministry of First Priority very well. Let’s take a look.

The E of epic is that they are experiential. “They are not looking for a sage on the stage, but a guide on the side.” (Tim Elmore via the Entreleadership Podcast) The more that we can coach and give them opportunities to experience the life that Christ has for them, the more interested they will be in our relationship. For First Priority, this means that the adults coach while the students lead. They live life at school everyday. For believers, they want to experience everything that God has in store for them day in and day out. First Priority gives them a weekly plan that empowers them on a daily basis to see their experience at school not just about learning, but as an opportunity to engage the hopeless with the hope-filled Good News they know and hold in Christ. The adults around them need to guide students to live out their call for Jesus everyday at school.

The P of epic is that they are participatory. They grew up with American Idol and similar TV shows that gave them the opportunity to decide the outcome. If they don’t get to vote, they aren’t as interested. They do not simply want to watch anymore. They grew up with a smart phone in their hand which allows them to participate in arranging their screen and in the clash of clans as they move through life. There needs to be a way in the ministry that we run to give them ownership of the outcome. For First Priority, that is the HOPE cycle. It is a clean and simple plan for them to implement weekly at school.

The I of epic is that they are image rich. Images are the language of the 21st century. Emojis and Instagram have helped shape this idea. Can we help students picture what life would be like if those in school lived a life of hope? What does that picture look like? Helping students learn how to articulate their faith story is the beginning of that picture for the school. This is the purpose of Prepare Week in the HOPE cycle. Many students cannot picture their school believing in Jesus because they aren’t clear about what God has done for them personally. Having students write and share their faith story (testimony) helps them bring clarity to that picture.

The C of epic is that they are connected. With the advancement of technology, in the smart phone specifically, they are more connected than they have every been. Yet, that perceived connection hasn’t filled the void of relational intimacy that we as humans long for. As believers even, students feel alone in our faith at school. Many students go to church with 20-30 in their youth group and go to school with 2-5 of those friends from church. With the gender and grade differences, they do not hang out daily with anyone who they talk faith with. Is there a way we can help them connect on that level at school? Again, for First Priority believes that there are more students who consider themselves Christian than any other group. Let’s connect them together with the call to connect as many in the school to Jesus as are interested.

Young people support what they help create. We can help them create a safe space in their school. They can create the opportunity for people to seek and share Christ. First Priority will be a movement that will change the lives of student leaders, lost students, the spiritual feel of the school, and eternity.

Peace,

Brad Schelling

Ezra 1:5-6
“Then rose up the chief of the fathers of Judah and Benjamin, and the priests, and the Levites, with all them whose spirit God had raised, to go up to build the house of the Lord which is in Jerusalem. And all they that were about them strengthened their hands with vessels of silver, with gold, with goods, and with beasts, and with precious things, beside all that was willingly offered.”

While Nehemiah was rebuilding the walls of the city, Ezra was rebuilding the temple. Originally Ezra and Nehemiah were one book, they were divided later. Without the temple rebuilt, the walls Nehemiah rebuilt would have pointless. To rebuild our cities we must work together and work under our personal strengths.

The First Priority strategy starts with connecting the local churches in a community together as a team surrounding the local middle and high schools. Until the church is “rebuilt” and unified, our work is not complete. Sometimes it takes rebuilding a mindset in a community between the churches to make this happen. Just as Ezra and Nehemiah did, it’s all about getting everyone working toward a common goal. That goal is to see that every student hears the Good News. Chapter One of the book of Ezra sees Israel destroyed, desolate, and the people were decimated. But God is a God of second chances. God had a next chapter for Israel. Restoration was possible. In fact, Cyrus restored all the vessels stolen from Solomon’s temple.

We have students all across the nation that need restoration in their lives. They are desperate. Nehemiah and Ezra worked hand in hand to see the glory of God return to Israel. First Priority wants to work hand in hand with “Nehemiahs” and “Ezras” all across the country to see the glory of God return to our nation. It can happen! The book of Ezra is proof of that. Restoration can happen when the church has a spirit of unity and is willing work together.

4 Ways to Bring Hope To Those Around You…..

First, you can help them understand the Good News of Jesus. What is that Good News that Jesus brought? Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness (God’s way of living), and all these things will be given to you as well.” Jesus is talking to people who believe in God, but their lives are consumed with the same stuff everyone else’s lives are consumed with: “What are we going to eat, what are we going to drink…” We need to help people who believe in God and those who do not to understand that the kingdom of God is here! Repent and be baptized! There is a way to live life that will bring long lasting hope rather than temporary entertainment. That way is Jesus.

Second, we can help them to overcome the temporary struggles and obstacles to living the way Jesus leads. We can overcome because salvation isn’t something that happens when you die. After all, what is heaven? Heaven is living with God. When you became a Christian, was that not the moment you began living with God? Of course! So why do we often think we need to die and go to heaven? We are in heaven right now when we experience the peace, hope, and joy in our life living with Christ Jesus. We need to overcome our human nature, our sinful thought, and our temporary vision and see that God’s kingdom is with us.

Third, we can prepare people to be used by God. There is nothing greater than being used by the creator of the universe to redeem his creation. The most frequent way that God uses his people is by telling God’s story through the experiences of life. Life has brought us all through the ups and downs. What better way to express the ‘praiseworthy deeds of the Lord’ (psalm 78:4) than by sharing how God brought you to and through that life experience. When people hear the ‘praiseworthy deeds of the Lord’, the logical outcome is for them ‘to put their trust in God and not forget his deeds but would keep his commands’. (Psalm 78:7) Being prepared to give a reason for the hope that is in you (1 Peter 3:15) not only brings hope to your life, but to those who hear as well.

Last, but certainly not least, we can bring hope to those around us by having good looking feet. What? Yup, it is true. Romans 10 13-15 says this, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Paul new that people would not call on the name of the Lord in isolation. So he asked a series of questions to help us to understand how people will call on the name of the Lord. “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent?” So, what does this have to do with having good looking feet? Paul uses that as an analogy when he states in verse 15, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” When we feel sent to people to tell them that the Kingdom of God is here, we give them the opportunity to call on the name of the Lord. Again, we rise in our hope and so do those who hear us.

There you have it. Four ways to bring hope to those around you. If you are struggling with hope yourself, time to pick one and get active.

Peace,

Brad Schelling

Hey,
I’ve been wrestling with the idea of the local church being a sleeping giant lately. Given I live in the world and ideology of the ministry of First Priority, it is no wonder that I struggle with the institutional side of the body of Christ. I want the body of Christ to be organic and influential in our world. I often bang the drum of church unity and call the [institutional] church to rise up.  If you listen to Fox News or CNN, you hear them talking often why the majority of citizens of our country who consider themselves Christian do not rise up and take control of the direction of our nation.  After all, there are enough of us to do it. So, we end up continuing to call the church the sleeping giant.

But…

This quote below causes me to believe that the giant is not sleeping; it is doing and being what Jesus laid out for us.  It is simply not the way our human nature would expect on the surface.

“These early Christ-followers did not organize special interest groups or political parties. They never directly opposed Caesar; they didn’t picket or protest or attempt to overthrow the ruling powers. They didn’t publicly denounce or condemn the pagan world. Instead, they challenged the ruling powers by simply being a faithful, alternative presence—obedient to God. Their most distinguishing characteristic was not their ideology or their politics but their love for others. They lived as those who were, once again, living under the rule and reign of God, a sign and foretaste of what it will be fully, when Christ returns.”  S. Michael Craven

I do not think those of us who labor for First Priority stop calling the church to unity or asking them to rise up.  But maybe we need to add to our language the ‘alternative presence’ we are to the world in order to help our people understand that following Christ is not a political uprising, but a unity of helping the spiritual orphans in our schools.

Just thinking out loud.

Peace,

Brad Schelling

1. Because students do not know their rights.
I have been in student ministry for 20 years. I have worked for First Priority for the past 8. While I am not a huge talker, you would think that my kids know that they have the right to talk about their faith at school. But, I still have to remind them that their teacher is wrong. The First Amendment gives them the right to talk about faith and grace in their homework and in their classroom when the moments present themselves. We all need reminding of our freedoms. I read my Bible and pray on a regular basis because I am not smart enough to remember what God has done for me longer than 24 hours. Let’s help students remember that God has given them the place and platform to speak light into dark and hopeless souls at school.

2. Because teachers don’t know the Equal Access Act law
It is well known in student ministry that life after high school often leads even the strongest Christian students away from faith. What would make us think that the education department of the local university would make sure that all new teachers know how to help students share faith in Christ? Nothing. The opposite is more true. Many times they simply ignore the law completely. Often, they continually preach separation of church and state. Not only do students need to know their rights, teachers need to know that they can help by being the custodial presence in the classroom.

3. Because this is the moment in history when your student leaders have the opportunity to influence their generation.
At no other time in the lifespan of a person do they have the influence and proximity to such a large group of people than when you attend school. After school, we all break off into companies, shifts, and management levels. Our groups are smaller than when you are part of the 100 or 2,000 that walk the halls of school everyday. Let’s capitalize on the opportunity. After all, many students in your community haven’t rejected the message of Jesus, they have never heard it.
For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  “How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” Romans 10:13-15

Let’s send students to their school to preach the Good News of Jesus to those who haven’t yet heard!

Peace,

Brad Schelling

1 Corinthians 2:14 says, “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.” I hear a lot of people say the Bible never really made sense to them until they gave their lives to Christ. Well, there you go.
If you have ever been around non- believers and they think your crazy; welcome to the party. God has changed your heart because you heard the gospel and the Holy Spirit of God convicted you. Then, a real conversion happened in you. Your mind became re-wired to hear the Holy Spirit, you also were given a new heart. You and I were influenced by somebody, but make no mistake, we play only a small role in the salvation department of God. However, it is a huge part of God’s plan. Our job is to love God and love people. I pray today that you will play your part. Pray for those you are around. Ask God to give you the opportunity to partner with Him to influence the lives of people so that they too may understand the Spirit of God.

We are aliens of this world, strangers passing through. Our great goal is to take as many people with us on our way to our real home.

Keep Fishing,

Mark Roberts